In our society , in some circles , saying no to anyone at any time for any reason has become taboo. It is currently fashionable to be a positive person and go around saying yes to everything and everyone we encounter.
Well in my life thus far I have learned after being on the planet for almost 48 years that attempting to do that is not "doable" and actually could be viewed as its own special form of OCD.
I have tried to do it and find that I end up feeling like a rung out, torn up old dish rag for all my efforts.
There is more merit and value, I have learned, in choosing how to invest your time in those things that are worthwhile to you and enrich your existance in some way. We do not always have the choice to say no. We are most of us tied to jobs and commitments in which we have already entered into agreements whereby we must comply to many things. What I am suggesting is that in the little bit of time and space you still call your own, do not be afraid to stand up and proclaim " No, I will not do that!".
If you cannot bring yourself to actually say the word for fear of being labelled in some uncomplimentary way then I will suggest to you some phrases that will get the job of noncompliance done.
- I will have to consider that
- I need to check my schedule to see if I am free
- what a great idea I need to think that over
- let me get back to you on that
- unfortunately my schedule will not permit that at this time
- I have a conflict with that
- when I have an opening I will definatley consider that
There is a reason that most 2 year olds go through a "no" stage. It because when we realize we are separate unto ourselves we want a control over our own lives. I say we should embrace the wisdom we had when we were two. Our world and the world in general may be much improved for doing it.
As a very well known anti drug campaign counselled in the 1980's...
just say no.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Circles of Life
Think of yourself as a circle in the middle of your own life. Everyone else is a circle unto themselves, but each circle exists within a larger circle like family, work, church , city, country and world. The places at which any individuals circle voluntarily intersects with another is the moment of creativity, love and joy. This is the moment that many report they do not experience often enough. If your circle doesn't intersect then you are not actually of the world you are only in it. Within our own circle is safety, but personal growth can only happen at the point of intersection. Global change also happens when the circles overlap . We have all the problems of the world to resolve. History has taught us that civilizations that lasted the longest managed to do that by employing inclusion. We can effect the outcomes of our lives and our planet if we choose to let each other in and cooperate using all our talents and abilities with acceptance and tolerance.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Where have all the Manners Gone?
The fast pace of out modern plugged in society has had many effects not the least of which is the erosin of common courtesy.
The most alarming example of this is the answering of a cell phone when in the company of another person.
I consider it very rude when I am at a social ocasion and I am conversing with someone whose cell phone rings and in mid sentence without loosing a beat they answer their cell phone and leave me hanging. When I was a salesfloor Associate trying to help customers on the floor or at a cash register I would experience this phenomena quite often. Picture this: a customer is at a cash register having their items rung through with a line of people behind them who are waiting to pay for their purchases. The customer at the register gets a call on their cell phone. They proceed to take it. All this customer's items are rung up and bagged. I am standing there ready to take their payment. The customer continues to talk on their cell phone and hold up everyone in the line. They do not conclude their transaction by paying until their phone conversation ends.
WORD TO THE WISE ... if you are unable to multi-task turn your cell phone off when you plan to do activities that involve other people. When did we all become such slaves to our devices? We have become like the pavlovian dogs. We react to the sound of the ringer without even thinking. The majority of cell phones have call display. I would suggest that if you are presently engaged with a human being that it is rude to answer your cell phone until the interchange with the "now" person is at its conclusion.
Are we creatures of reaction or do we still have a will of our own? Is it even possible to say "excuse me" before we answer our cell phone? Some people do this. I appreaciate it! The rest of us need to learn how to say those two little words.
The most alarming example of this is the answering of a cell phone when in the company of another person.
I consider it very rude when I am at a social ocasion and I am conversing with someone whose cell phone rings and in mid sentence without loosing a beat they answer their cell phone and leave me hanging. When I was a salesfloor Associate trying to help customers on the floor or at a cash register I would experience this phenomena quite often. Picture this: a customer is at a cash register having their items rung through with a line of people behind them who are waiting to pay for their purchases. The customer at the register gets a call on their cell phone. They proceed to take it. All this customer's items are rung up and bagged. I am standing there ready to take their payment. The customer continues to talk on their cell phone and hold up everyone in the line. They do not conclude their transaction by paying until their phone conversation ends.
WORD TO THE WISE ... if you are unable to multi-task turn your cell phone off when you plan to do activities that involve other people. When did we all become such slaves to our devices? We have become like the pavlovian dogs. We react to the sound of the ringer without even thinking. The majority of cell phones have call display. I would suggest that if you are presently engaged with a human being that it is rude to answer your cell phone until the interchange with the "now" person is at its conclusion.
Are we creatures of reaction or do we still have a will of our own? Is it even possible to say "excuse me" before we answer our cell phone? Some people do this. I appreaciate it! The rest of us need to learn how to say those two little words.
The New Three R's
RESPECT FOR SELF
RESPECT FOR OTHERS
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS
Simple ... who can do it?
RESPECT FOR OTHERS
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS
Simple ... who can do it?
Saturday, May 10, 2008
The Big Walk
I took an hour walk today. I am usaully fairly sedentary and very out of shape.
I did okay by my own standards.
What would you do if you still could?
If you don't use it you may lose it ... that's the popular saying anyway!
You can lose a lot of things in life ... jobs, loved ones, abilities like walking or sight.
I have the most general of living wills. Its hard to define those particular limits.
At this point in my life I say that as long as I was able to work a T.V. remote, play video games, read a book and surf the internet life would still be worth living.
I have never been a "goer". My most pleasurable moments are typically spent in my own company with only my own thoughts to ponder. My life so far has been an interior one.
I did okay by my own standards.
What would you do if you still could?
If you don't use it you may lose it ... that's the popular saying anyway!
You can lose a lot of things in life ... jobs, loved ones, abilities like walking or sight.
I have the most general of living wills. Its hard to define those particular limits.
At this point in my life I say that as long as I was able to work a T.V. remote, play video games, read a book and surf the internet life would still be worth living.
I have never been a "goer". My most pleasurable moments are typically spent in my own company with only my own thoughts to ponder. My life so far has been an interior one.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Choices
In this North America place that I live I find that choices are a funny thing.
If you have to choose from amongst too many it can potentially become a source of stress.
If you have too few choices at your disposal it can become a source of depression.
I guess the thing to remember is that you may not like the choices you have to select from, but at least we do have the luxury of choice.
When in doubt or when I feel the world at large is pushing me around I find myself choosing
to make no choice at all. This works in most cases for a while!
If you have to choose from amongst too many it can potentially become a source of stress.
If you have too few choices at your disposal it can become a source of depression.
I guess the thing to remember is that you may not like the choices you have to select from, but at least we do have the luxury of choice.
When in doubt or when I feel the world at large is pushing me around I find myself choosing
to make no choice at all. This works in most cases for a while!
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