Priorities

When reviewing my life goals it would appear all the little things on the list  of things to do remains mostly unchanged. 

1. Improve your health by weight loss. Eat better. Rest better. Move better.

2. Improve your finances by saving for the future.

3. Self improvement by learning about new things that interest you on an ongoing basis.

4.  Improve yourself to become a kinder, more gentle and wiser version of yourself.

Well, improvement does happen over time to be sure. The types of improvements that happen are more dictated by circumstance than any on a  list. Life is the best editor there is.  It does not compromise. It knows what next needs to be done.

I am now 55 years old. Looking at retirement by perhaps age 60. The last 4 years of my life have been mostly focused on helping my aging father manage the last stage of his life. For being now well into his 90th decade he is in extremely good health. The most disturbing aspect of this time for him and for me is a slow progressing dementia. It effects his short term memory. He still knows who he is and who I am, however the details of what happened 30 minutes ago often escape him.

The demands of a full time job are still a reality in my life. Trying to maintain a few friendships has been very challenging, but I have managed to keep a couple. The state of my own house and my own health has often taken a back seat. I find as time has passed I from time to time experience what I call a personal energy crisis. There are more things to do than I have energy to do them. Thus comes the task of prioritizing. Its absolutely amazing how long things can remain on the list of things to do when priorities change.

There is no better lesson in being present and re-prioritizing when you realize that someone who has been key in your life may at some point either mentally or physically no longer be there. When you recognize the fact that every visit might be the last one , then that visit becomes number one priority above all else. 

I have heard it said that you know you are doing something you love when all sense of time evaporates. Well, when I visit my Dad 2 hours feels like 15 minutes.  

The lesson of the importance of family is being taught to me now.  I find it very ironic that at a time when my own memory is starting to play tricks on me occasionally,  I am trying so hard to remember his stories, his life and the essential him. 

Every time I visit and he is still him and he still knows me is a gift. 

Many people call this the long goodbye. I prefer to think of it as hello again.